Sunday, September 12, 2010

The summer to remember

I usually try to keep my personal life, well, personal.  No other reason than  it's in my nature to keep things to myself.  These two last months, however, have affected me to the extend that the one thing, sewing/quilting, that keeps me motivated and with a positive outlook despite all the everyday situations and happenings has NOT been what it has always been to me.  I've found myself starting at piles of fabric, magazines, boxes of thread, notions and such items without being able to summon a desire to touch them.
It all started in the middle of July, when my brother passed away. It was sudden and unexpected, but not surprising.  His body gave up after years of damage from substances abuse.  Losing family in this way, gives one a pause to reflect on our own life and priorities.  A couple of  weeks later, my eldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is the second sister out of 7 of us that has to fight this disease.  I'm fearful and apprehensive for her because I know the struggle and pain she is to face in the months ahead.
At about the same time, my  daughter and grandchild moved out.  The circumstances or rather the reason why they left was hurtful, but as a parent, I understand that she is trying to find her life's path and as she put it "live without crutches" and "do what's best for my child". My household is suddenly very quiet and even though  I now have a spare room  that can be turned into a nice cozy sewing room, I resent how it became available and I can't summon the energy to take to the task.

Finally, my job is on the last stages of relocating operations to a new facility 70 miles away.  I'm weighting all of my options and trying to decide if I will be commuting to work or not.  I currently live 10 miles from the office and this has allowed me to be available for babysitting the little peanut, and to be able to take care of family while earning an income.  An hour commute each way would change all that and I don't know if I'm willing to do it. But, am  I willing to lose the income, benefits and satisfaction drawn from this job? I have to make a decision soon.
I've always believe that God doesn't give us burdens we can't carry and wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason and at the time it needs to be, as well as there is always calm at the end of the storm.  I just need to be more at peace with the things I can't change or control and trust that all will be well in God's hands. It all will be well.


Quiltsmiles said...

MY heart goes out to you with all the turmoil that has and is going on in your life. You do sound like you are in the best place mentally to handle all of it. Kudos and be content. Namaste,


katie z. said...

You are absolutely right... but sometimes, don't we wish God didn't have such great faith in us? My family has been in turmoil lately (although not nearly so much as yours), so I feel for you. You will be in my prayers!

Lori said...

Your life has been tossed up and stirred. I remember my mother telling me "change is good--everything changes"--but dang--it's hard sometimes!